Blank Page

I have time here today to do some writing, and so I sit down in front of my laptop, just waiting for inspiration to hit, and it’s not hitting. Thus, I am staring at a blank page. Oh, wow, this is bringing back memories (not good ones) from college when I would sit in front of my Smith Corona word processing machine and knock out essays.

It was 1991 when I graduated from high school in Gillette, Wyoming, and it was before the world wide web and email; there were computers, but not many people had their own. Because of that, my parents bought me a word processor for graduation. It was kind of a cross between a computer and a typewriter. I would type in a whole essay and it would save on the machine, but then I would have to feed paper into the machine like into a typewriter, and it would print it on the paper using a typewriter ribbon. We were fancy in the 90s!

For my essays back then, there was some pressure and a deadline to meet, and I would always procrastinate, but I always managed to complete my assignments because I knew that I was going to be assessed on my writing. Grades meant a lot to me.

This kind of writing is different. There’s not a grade waiting at the end of a blog post. My goal is not to show the teacher that I’ve learned the content. Instead, my goal is to share my thoughts with readers who are hopefully interested in what I have to say. To me, this is infinitely scarier! There are no instructions, no rubric, no guidelines to follow. So like today, I wonder, “where should I start?”

Hey, look at that! My page is not blank any more, so that feels good, but what have I really said? Nothing really. Michelle and I really want to share our ideas relating to our faith through our website and our social media, so it’s much easier to write when I feel a prompting or a nudge about what to write. I really think God puts stuff in my life and on my heart that He wants me to talk about. Those writings come much more easily. This one I think I might have forced a bit.

Hmmmm. . . I think I just stumbled onto something there. Do you ever feel like you’re trying to put a square peg into a round hole? Maybe it’s with a relationship–something just isn’t working, so you just keep pushing and pushing, hoping that the angle you’re taking is going to all of a sudden work? Maybe it’s with a project at work or with a hobby that you have? I think we’ve all had those moments.

With my blog writing, it comes much more easily when I feel like God is nudging me in a certain direction, or when He just gives me a fantastic idea out of nowhere like a bolt of lightning striking. It also happens with other areas of my life. When God is in control, and I let go of the reins, life just seems to run more smoothly. Imagine that! I don’t know best?

On the other hand, when I won’t put down that square peg, because I think I know best and I can get it to fit that round hole, the situation is bound to turn out poorly. Here’s an example. When I get anxious about something, I sometimes can’t let it go; I am a worrier. I just continue to push and push, thinking that if I consider every possible outcome for the scenario and figure out a plan A, B, C, D, E, and F, everything will be fine. Isn’t that arrogant? Like I can fix everything and control all things. Nope.

So, my page is filled, and God did give me something to share and a lesson for me to learn here. Thank you, God! Once again, as an unfinished woman, you’ve reminded me to let go and just give over my worries and struggles to you. If I start there, asking you for help, the blank page won’t stay blank for long, and I won’t have to grab a hammer to make the square peg fit!

In Proverbs 16:3, it says, “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, / and he will establish your plans.” How awesome is that! I like the promise that God will organize things for me if I dedicate what I’m doing to him–I love that! So no more sitting down in front of a blank page, trying to force out some words, or worrying myself silly about something I can’t control; instead, I’m going to give it to God!

Thanks for reading, friends!

Love,

Julie